Hey! Wanna make yourself laugh?

HEY.WANNA MAKE YOURSELF LAUGH?

TRY THIS. IT WORKS. I DID IT MYSELF AND I MADE MYSELF LAUGH. ACTUALLY, MORE LIKE MADE MYSELF INSANE FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN LAUGHED AT MYSELF FOR HOW FUNNY IT WAS THAT I WAS INSANE FOR A MOMENT  AND THEN MORE LIKE CHUCKLED AT WHAT I HAD DONE TO MYSELF.

ANYWAY. ANY. WAZE. HERE IS HOW THIS ALL WENT DOWN. ON SATURDAY NIGHT I THOUGHT I WOULD DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A CHANGE. BIG_MISTAKE. I WILL NEVER DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT AGAIN. I HAD DONE MY LAUNDY AND I HAD PUT MY FITTED SHEET ON THE BED AND THEN I REALIZED I HAD PUT THE FITTED SHEET ON WITH THE STRIPES GOING THE OTHER WAY. YOU KNOW, THE STRIPES WERE GOING ACROSS THE BED. NOW, SOME OF YOU DOUBTERS OUT THERE ARE PROBABLY GOING, “THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE, MARK. IT WOULDN’T FIT.” BUT … I HAVE KING SIZE SHEETS (ALL WAYS ON SALE) AND A QUEENS SIZE BED CUZ IT JUST MAKES THEM EASIER TO GET ON THE BED. SO THERE! SO, ANYWASTED, I LOOKED AT THE STRIPES GOING THE WRONG WAY AND I DECIDED, “HEY. THIS MIGHT BE FUN”. ‘SIDES, IM LAY-ZEE AND ALSO I THOUGHT, AGAIN, THAT THIS MIGHT BE FUN SO THAT WAS NOW TWO VOTES FOR AND GOOD ENOUGH. NO TURNING BACK. THEN … YUP, YOU GUESSED IT, I PUT THE SHEET ON SIDEWAYS AND THE COMFORTER. SO NOW IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO TRY THIS OUT. OH, SO I GO TO SLEEP AND I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING CUZ THE PHONE ALARM IS GOING. AND IM TRYING TO REACH IT BUT I CANT. THERE’S NO WAY I CAN REACH IT. IM UPSIDE DOWN, FLYING?, OR SOMETHING AND THE ROOM IS SIDEWAYS OR SOMETHING. IM INSANE. THEN I REMEMBERED THE SHEETS WERE SIDEWAYS AND THE ROOM WAS NORMAL AND I HAD SOMEHOW GOT MYSELF ALIENED WITH THE SIDEWAYS SHEETS AND I LAUGHED AT HOW INSANE THAT HAD MADE ME FOR A SECOND AND HOW FUNNY IT WAS. SO TRY IT, MAYBE, BUT DON’T TRY WITH A PARTNER CUZ THEY’LL NEVER GO FOR IT AND THINK YOU’RE INSANE FOR SUGGESTING IT. AND, OH, I KNOW YOU’RE WONDERING, SO, NO, I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WEIRD WITH THE PILLOW CASES OUTSIDE THE ORDINARY.

NEXT WEEK: I TRIED THIS, AND, WELL, IT WORKS BUT NOW IM NOT SURE IF IT MATTERS. ANYWHEY, NEXT WEEK ILL TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN PRETEND TO YOURSELF YOU’RE POPULAR.

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